Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
