That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
