I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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