Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
