...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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