Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
