it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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