I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
