that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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