it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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