It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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