just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize