Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
