Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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