He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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