True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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