as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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