I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
