Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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