wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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