the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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