I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
