It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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