I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
