we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
be right there i have to get my cape
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans