she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
