I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
