Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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