i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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