she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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