butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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