bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
