I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
