im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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