My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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