I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
