he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
