all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
