and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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