Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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