I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
how can u be prego again
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize