That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
