So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
did i just pee glitter
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