I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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