Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's never too late to be topless.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
