he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
