that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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