Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
