you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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