He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
