I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
