apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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