Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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