Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My friends, they love my intelligence
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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