Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
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I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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