I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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