Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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